fireflies

I am in the province and at home with my family. i travelled yesterday and enjoyed passing the green highway sceneries from Bulacan, Pampanga and Tarlac. The day is clear and unlike Manila skies, the heaven showed its azure color with those white cotton clouds. What a fresh sight to behold and not to mention the miles and miles of green rice fields coupled with clear ponds every now and then.

I am writing now while Federer and Nadal are playing in the French Open finals. They are on the second set with Nadal winning the first set at 6-1(!), and now leading again at 5-3. Last night (Eastern Time), Justine awarded the French Open Cup to the woman winner, Ana Ivanovic. I rooted for Dinara Safina but she did not performed like she did when she defeated Sharapova, Dementieva and Kutznetsova on the way to the Final.

I hope Nadal takes his fourth French Open in a row. Hmmm… Nadal takes the second set at 6-3. I better finish watching first. It is 6-0 in the third set. And so Nadal made it to history today and Federer goes home still without a French Open. The King of Clay still reigns while the Queen is retired.

Going back to the purpose of this entry and not to be sidetracked by Tennis, I would like to write about the mixed images that I saw while travelling home yesterday and the pictures that i saw when I arrived. The images from Bulacan to Tarlac are reassuring, peaceful and serene. When I arrived in Pangasinan, I am reminded of the devastation Typhoon Cosme has left my province and to my own town about three weeks ago. I am consoled that our humble abode is intact unlike the others in the neighborhood. It stood the typhoon and the flood. My family can feel lucky we are spared but we feel sad knowing so many took losses. Of course, we also had our share of losses. We lost 2 carabao mango trees, 2 indian mangoes, 1 macapuno tree, 1 jackfruit tree all planted at the back of our house. The mango tree in our front yard also suffered from broken branches. Somewhere in the mountain my brother informed me were numerous paper trees and other fruit trees that are broken down and wounded by the storm.

Anyway, one who is sensitive could feel the seemingly palpable sadness of the immediate environment. The plants are hurting, blistered and are probably still sore from pains the strong winds of the typhoon has caused them to suffer. If they are human, the experience could be likened to waging a war against a mortal enemy. I noted that some of the surviving trees are recovering; new leaves are now appearing, though some are being dried up and beaten by the scorching sun. The ornamentals are not spared also. They look sad and dried up; no glistening leaves and no healthy appearance. They seem to feel also the loss of their neighbor plants loss of life. Butterflies are noticeably absent unlike before. No teeming life and many greens and colors to attract them because the trees lost a lot of leaves, and the flowering plants are still hurting and therefore refuses to give their glory. I don’t know. Probably the butterflies were swept away and may be suffering also somewhere. The place is lonely. I miss the energy and the ‘life’.

Early tonight I saw some small flickering lights in the dark. I told the children at home that there are fireflies and so they scamper and satisfied their curiosity. Its not often that we see them these days. It was the first time little Xi and Bea actually see fireflies. Deep in my mind, i know that fireflies are bioluminiscent but another side of me always thinks of them as something magical like fairies. I believe fairies exist. I haven’t seen one but my childlike belief tells me that they exist in places where a lot of trees, plants and flowers abound. When the fireflies that we see begins to fade away from our sights, i felt sad. Its like they are bidding farewell already and leaving the place because the plants have been diminished. They have nowhere to play and to rest anymore. I don’t know, I hope that if they are leaving, it is just temporary.

The state of the enviroment is a serious topic these days. The Inconvenient Truth of Al Gore is something of an eye opener to a lot of people. I have known ages ago even before I took the elective course Earth Science in my undergraduate, that the earth is rapidly deteriorating because of man’s exploitation. Didn’t I say, I grew up in the mountains where Gold and Copper are mined. Growing up seeing that the earth is being exploited because of these precious metals is the reason why I don’t wear trinkets and other artifice made of them. My other siblings wear them but I refuse to do the same.

I like plants and I put money on trees not because I look forward to their bearing fruits but foremost for their contribution to the environment and to the clean air that we breath. Again, my siblings don’t know that. Its an investment alright; its an investment for the environment and for sustainability. Life is precious; human life and other earth life (animals and plants). We should take care of our environment and the ecosystem if we value life.

Call it profound and weird but to me, its just plain and simple, I don’t want the fireflies to just fade and lose their light in the dark!

Justine Henin, why are you retiring too soon?

Yeah, I saw it from the Forum of her Official Site which i daily frequent. I am sad that she is retiring. I will surely miss my favorite female tennis player and her ALLEZ on the court. She is a such a joy to watch. I am lost for words how to describe her. She is just great! For one so petite, she has a giant spirit. Her personal struggles have inspired a lot of people. She is still #1 in the current WTA ranking and the next is a stretch away and may need a Grand Slam to topple her position (that is, if WTA will not erase her in the ranking right away). For sure, her early retirement is a loss to the WTA tour.

A lot of her fans are asking, “Why Justine Henin are you retiring too soon?”. She has her reasons. I am shocked by the news but I respect her decision and will be happy if she is happy with it. She deserves to enjoy all the things that she has achieved and earned, to have the time for herself and to live the life like the rest of us, although, hers would be more opulent :); to pursue her other dreams.

From Justine’s post-retirement interview:

“I think I will take long, real vacation,” she said. “I’m going to appreciate going for a run with nothing at stake, just doing it for pleasure. I’ve never put my feet in skis and next year I think I’ll be doing it the whole winter. I want to rediscover the small pleasures, not look at my watch all the time, because I have to get to training the next day. I want to stay in shape but I want to spend time with the people I love, drive my nephews and nieces to activities, have time.”

I think she has worked so hard and that whatever peace and rest that she longs after all the years on tour, from debilitating disease, injuries, being estranged from her family and having her mom taken away at an early age is a much deserved. She has given so much joy to the people by her tennis poetry. I missed her already.

Her Official Site is now heavy with outpouring of feelings from her fans world-wide. It is not surprising that emotions are triggered by her sudden retirement. Words of admiration and support and well-wishes are all written in her Guestbook. What fan base she has, and so touching, sincere and heart-rending are their messages! I still haven’t given my piece. I am still tongue-tied at the moment.

All I can say for now is that I will no longer have the reason to go home early or to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch a tennis match.

Related stories:

The Frail Figure with an Indomitable Will

Henin Quits On Top

Henin Announces Shock Retirement

Henin Retires From Sony Ericsson WTA Tour

Justine Henin A Look Back

Henin’s Rivals Pay Tribute to a ‘Great Champion’

WTA Backspin blog on JH retirement by Stood Spinner

Readers Respond: Placing Henin in History

Fan Farewell to Justine Henin

She retires at the Top. And I would like to imprint her ranking as against the next number 1 to be forever remembered. Her ranking will be erased this coming May 19, 2007.  She retired with 1709points gap to the next ranked player.

allan’s summer mishap

There was a heavy downpour yesterday and so the ground was soaked with rain water that made it muddy and slippery. When Allan, my nephew, went to get one of the sneaky goats he is tasked to pasture and to watch over, he slipped. To protect his head from the fall, he had to use his arm to lessen what could have been a more serious accident. It was good that my brother was nearby and heard Allan’s scream and cry for help. He immediately went to his son and there saw him lying on the ground in pain and holding up his left arm. Seeing Allan white-faced and suffering in pain, my brother did not hesitate to rush him to the nearest orthopedic hospital which is around 45km from our place.

Late last night, we saw Allan with a cast and a sling. The doctor cemented his left forearm due to a fractured radius and ulna. Allan is one restless 12-year old who never runs out of things to do or places to go. He plays basketball and table tennis. He also has very good artistic hands which he uses to draw and to play his favorite computer games.

It is summer vacation and you know what summer is to young people. It’s a time out of school and therefore, a time to play and just have fun not doing school works. To make it worst, he is left-handed. Poor kid, just this morning his Mom saw him in tears. What a summer fate?

Now, why am I writing about this? It is because I know the feeling. Believe me. Almost 9 years ago, I was in a sling also. I fractured my right wrist and need I say I am right-handed!!! I was so dispirited then, I recall writing the following entry in my journal during those period of suffering. Here it goes:

December 19, 1999, Sunday

It’s 3:26 pm. Well that’s according to Ate Cecile’s clock. Am alone and nursing a fractured wrist; had an accident last November 26, 1999, Thursday morning during our Sports Fest. I am typing this entry single-handedly using my left hand. It’s a lesson on patience why it happened, that’s what friends at the dorm say. I just have to agree, i.e. to accept my fate positively, otherwise I’ll end up cussing why this accident should happen when I need able hands to prepare for my thesis proposal. Admittedly, i am impatient and most of the time can’s stay still. This accident is teaching me a lot. Although moving and doing my usual activities is really an ordeal, I found out that using only one and my left hand is a challenge I would never miss. I am not happy with the situation but I found triumph and bits of happiness accomplishing things I could never imagine doing using my left hand. I feel a sense of achievement every time I have done things which seem imaginably hard to do lefty. Its difficult doing the usual works but I am grudgingly happy also I am coping.

I have fears and oftentimes I feel pains. You see, Dr. Allen Llanos, my orthopedic doctor had drilled a metal pin. Every time it is cold, the pain is there. Mommy has not seen me yet with an arm sling and I don’t really want her to see me like this. I hope this coming Tuesday, December 21, when my doctor extract the pin, the cement will not be there anymore so that I can go home without the sling and the cast during the Christmas break. My fears now are not having my right arm with it’s usual agility; its deformity as it appears now may be permanent, my not having to play and do the usual works with dexterity is another. …

I am cutting the melodramatic part, hehehe. Reading it now makes me laugh. It seems petty I have to feel that way then.The accident did make me lie low a little on Badminton. I don’t play it as competitively as before. I replaced it with more sedate table tennis which I truly enjoy now. I am proud to say though, that i learned table tennis using my left hand first before my right hand (because it was in a cast then; there you see my evident restlessness, i didn’t wait to see how my right hand would fare, i need to start learning to play using my left right away). And that my left hand can use chop sticks because of the accident also. See what accident can do sometimes?

Now, I can only console Allan. He is young and of course will recover. Who knows, he might discover he is ambidextrous.

can’t wait for the clay season

Over the last few months, a day without visiting the site of Justine Henin is never complete. I joined the forum wherein i sometimes post although most of the time i am a lurker and/or ghostnic.

I felt sad when she lost to Francesca Schiavone in the 2007 Dubai Open QF depriving her of her quest for her 5th title there. I lost sleep over her second upset of the year (Australian Open QF) from the grunting and shrieking russian player. Until now i can’t forget the gesture of the assassin-like father of that noisy player. Next of her unfortunate defeats (3rd this year) is from SW at Key Biscayne, Miami. All of these defeats are from hard court. Yeah, you can say they have taken their revenge after all the thrashings they got from the number one WTA player the previous matches.

It is now with great anticipation that I await for the clay season. We will see how players will fare from the hands of the queen of clay come German Open (Berlin), Internazionali BNL Italia (Rome) and the French Open (Roland Garros, Paris).

In the mean time, i am completing my collection of Justine’s matches by downloading from this site. Watching the transition of her game from 2001 to the present is indeed a poetry in motion. She is just incredible. Her tenacity and resilience over personal and family struggles, her mental toughness, her all around game style, her generosity and the sheer talent ( especially that single-handed backhand) that she has is truly admirable. I started to love tennis the moment i saw her play some years ago. I have read every bits and pieces written about her, both negative and positive. I believe and support her no matter how she is criticized in the past. I just think and feel that she is a beautiful person inside and out.

Picture taken from this site.

This is as far as I could get as a fan. She is the only player who could get me home early from the office and watch her play till the wee hours of the morning. Who after watching that classic more than three hours 2003 US open SF against Jennifer Capriati could not admire that mental toughness, the never-give-up  attitude,  the resilience, and that exceptional ‘tennis brain’.  I could go on and on but least i be accused of an exaggeration, i guess i should stop here.

where is the magic?

I have always been fascinated by magic as a child. Actually, not only with that, but almost anything that are extraordinary and queer. Growing up in the high mountains and overhearing stories from native folks talk about someone who can be invisible if he wants to and other magical stories made me wonder if such things really happen. Deep inside there seems to be a silent ‘knowing’ that such things do happen.

I have loved books the moment i learn how to read. The library where i studied for my primary education does have a lot of collections which i enjoyed immensely in my spare time. Thanks to the Americans(?)/Canadians(?) who brought books to my school then (i will not thank them though for ravaging the mountains to mine copper and gold). I remember when I was in grade two, our room adjoins the school library and laboratory. There I feasted on both fiction and non-fiction books, science and literature. There also in constant view are the laboratory equipments, the replica of the solar system in makeshift rings up in the ceiling, educational posters, and even dried animals that look scary. Unfortunately though, there are not a lot of books available to whet my appetite for more details on magics. Of course, I have read my share of Filipino tales, legends, paranormal and magical stories (e.g. Kapri, dwende, and Tikbalangs, etc.) and of Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Fairies, etc. With all of those stories, somehow, i am certain there is more to magic than just mere word or fantasy.

Added to an active child’s imagination was the immediate environs that were so rich of floras. It was like a fantasy world back then. If i was not settled in a book, you can find me with other children exploring the nearby mountain with its verdant pine trees, black berries, mushrooms, ferns and pitcher plants. Hmmm… fresh air and clear brooks were so inviting for playing and fun. Now who could resist that over a book? Its a tough competition and I could leave a book anytime for a chance to play. I so believe in fairies. One who is more sensitive could probably feel their almost palpable presence in the forests. I am not that lucky to have the eye but I believe they exist.

Anyway, I feel that I have a lot of readings to do to catch up with the could’ve been ‘magical years’. I don’t live in the mountains now and so my solace to capture magical moments is through books.

So what books have I read lately? One is “The Charmed Sphere” by Catherine Asaro. I finished last night “Stardust” by Neil Gaiman. I have several more books in the province which i left unread. I wish I could have more time to read and explore bookstores to get acquainted with good authors on magic and fantasy.

In the mean time, I also have three new titles which are not of this type. The 3 titles are, “The Giver”, “Gathering Blue” and “The Messenger” by Lois Lowry. I will rest for a while reading magic stuff and read these books.

I guess, I will cut short my post here. I know it is becoming a bad habit not to really delve on my subject. Honestly, it irks me to cut short my entries; it bothers me knowing I can’t continue writing because i don’t have a free-flowing mind to express the words I want written; i feel frustrated not to have fluid and thinking fingers to press the keys automatically (am i insane?). In short, i still don’t have the magic to make that happen. Or it can be that, I am already sleepy when I write so that I can scarcely shutdown my machine before my eyes close and body tumbles to my thin Japanese bed.

I am both patient and impatient. The Magic will come soon…

everything a passage

Everything will come to pass. Your thoughts whether positive or negative, the state of your minds with every passing seconds, those fleeting anger or hatred that you feel, your intolerance, happiness and every emotions that makes you feel alive. All of these will just stay for a while and then soon forgotten and vanish into oblivion.

It is both funny and sad how we cling to feelings, to both material and non-materials things and most of all to people. Probably, this is to keep us sane. To not cross the border that separates sanity from insanity.

Psychology has always fascinated me. How the mind works and the science behind it are subjects that interest me among others. I have always love reading and this love I think somehow ruined my ability to just concentrate in one particular area of interest. There’s just too much information to absorb and the more I read, the more I realize how little I know.

What kind of mind or thinking do I have? Oftentimes, I think there is a lot going inside me. I would like to think it is overly active and never rests. I wish I could write everything that crosses my mind. I think that is not possible though. I am not a good writer.

This writing and my state of being right this very moment is just a passage. After this, it has come to pass and there it goes; one unintended, demented, confused and garbled blog entry.

Saturday musings

Its been a while since i last wrote a thing here. The break during the Holy week and my 5-day mandatory leave thereafter passed through without an entry here. Starting to write again is not as easy. I am not a natural writer. Sometimes I just write because I just feel like pressing some keys; no agenda, no plan what to write about. Most of the time, after writing an entry, i just feel like someone who has made a fool of herself. But just as I always say, what the heck? I couldn’t care less who is reading. It is good to be unknown and ’semi-anonymous’. You can write about anything that you think, pour your heart out and curse all you want to somehow ease those bottled emotions. Who gives the hoot? Its therapeutic to write.

My Holy Week breezed through just like any ordinary week for me. I feel like i have totally lost my more or less Catholic upbringing. Deep inside and ages ago, i know that I am not completely Catholic anymore. I have lost some Catholic teachings but I have gained from other denominations. I have mixture of friends of different faiths. I have observed how they lived their lives. Muslims, Catholics, Buddhist, Adventists, Baptists and “born-agains”. They are kind-hearted and good people regardless of faith. I think that no one is really and purely of one’s religious affiliation. To be such is to be closed and to be blind to the goodness of the others. Faith and beliefs are very personal and can’t be dictated. One’s experience is unique. Once in a while one would just feel the priceless ‘Gift of being in a state’ whether in silence or in chaos. I am not equipped to write about this kind of topic and so it is better to end it. It is enough to just say that I am not an Atheist or anything near it. The truth is in my soul, heart and mind.

During the break, I had a chance of kiting in a breezy open area again. This was done with a bunch of kids and some young members of my family. What fun we had maneuvering colorful kites in the open skies. It was great to be childlike. To run, to be carefree, and to just enjoy the moment with innocent children. Fortunately or unfortunately, it cannot always be like that. Fortunately, because if you do that daily, it will become normal and will not be as joyful anymore. Some things or activities are just appreciated and enjoyed only if they are done in rare occasions.

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Over the years, i feel like I am losing base with my old friends. More and more as the years go by, the distance is getting wider and wider. It is true that time heals all wounds, but it is also true that time has a way of making strangers out of friends. Time steals memories; good that it forgets the sad ones, but simply harsh that it fails to remember the happy ones. And so sometimes, in rare moments of introspection, you may ask yourself, have you really been friends with those you considered as close to blood kins? Or you will just dread the day when you will be asked by them, “Who are you?”. What a painful day that would be.

Friday mixed feelings

Fridays always make me have mixed feelings.

Fridays oftentimes make me happy: Its the end of the week and the next day means longer sleeping time. It means no ringing telephone, no emails to answer, no analysis to make, no rushing to the office, etc.; in short, a day without corporate obligations. The next day’s free to myself. I can go home to my loved ones in the province. My motherly officemate aptly describe me as someone who regains sanity at home in the province. Whatever that means, hahaha. I may have acted like a virago at times when the work days are at their demanding peak and the numbers getting out are not as good. Anyway, I always welcome Fridays for very simple reason: The next day is “rest day”! Hmmm… don’t get me wrong, I love what I am doing at work no matter how people seems to hate and fear the number crunching involved. I find satisfaction when at the end of the day, I can say, I had been productive.

Fridays sometime make me sad: Sad when I think of home but I can’t travel there because I also need some housekeeping to the place that keeps me safe in the City. Admittedly, commuting more than 200KM to and from pangasinan is not always welcome especially when pure exhaustion and physical condition are not up to more than four hours of travelling. Thing is, the fresh air, the food and the loving that you get in return more than compensates.

My theme song on Fridays is “Home” by Chris Daughtry.

The Lyrics below i got from this site and need I paste them again here.

 

I’m staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I’m going to the place where love

And feeling good don’t ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel’s a different kind of pain.

I’m going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I’m not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don’t regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old

So I’m going home.

Well I’m going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,

The closer I get to you.

I’ve not always been the best man or friend for you.

But your love, remains true.

And I don’t know why.

You always seem to give me another try.

So I’m going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I’m not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don’t regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,

‘Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all,

And then some you don’t want.

Be careful what you wish for,

‘Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I’m going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I’m not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don’t regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

I said these places and these faces are getting old.

So I’m going home.

I’m going home.

 

Organic Market at Salcedo Village Park

I have long been meaning to write about the organic market in Salcedo Park, Makati City.  Every Saturday morning until two o’clock in the afternoon, the old silent park is now busy with people taking advantage of all the organic foods and fresh produce from the different parts of the country or even outside the country.  

The place is a flurry of activities on Saturdays. It not only attracts local people but also a lot of nationals living in the nearby condominiums. Even foreigners are engaging in the enterprise. I remember hearing a Frenchman repeatedly bellowing, “Nice French foods from La Cuisine”. He keeps saying it over and over again; it stuck to my mind and until now, my head is still ringing with those words like a mantra.  

The cornucopia of vivid and rich colors of fresh fruits, vegetables and plants engage one to roam the place so as not to miss anything. Bagnit and Longganisa from Ilocos, lechon, grilled tilapia and bangus, and barbecue. Fresh fish, lobster and prawns are also available. Local delicacies and foreign cuisines (e.g. French, Japanese, Korean, Italian) are enough to make one even on a diet eat with gusto.   

Below are some images that I have taken when I visited last Saturday. In the past, I just enjoyed buying and eating. This time I brought my old but still reliable point-and-shoot camera.

Fruits

 

Avocadoes, strawberries, mangosteen, mangoes, papaya, pineapples, pomelos, durian, star apples, bananas, grapes and apples and others. I’ll bet some of these fruits came from Baguio (Strawberries), Pangasinan (Magoes), Batangas/Cavite (Pineapples), Davao (Pomelos and Durian) if not from China or Thailand.

Vegetables

Salad greens, carrots, succhini, squash, and other leafy greens I only see in the province are surprisingly there.  

Plants

Azanthus, bromeliads, petunias, orchids, birds of paradise and other ornamentals

Crafts

Wooden crafts from northern philippines (probably Baguio or Ifugao) and weavings from the Visayas (Samar or Leyte) by the looks of them.

Native Sweets, Delicacies and other products

 The tarpauline banners of the stalls and even the uniform of the stall watchers if they are evident of their products, are from all over the place.  One shirt says, “Wen Manong!” and the wearer is selling bagnit, Ilocos Longganiza and that heady smell of cane vinegar. Pamangan, Bud-bud kabog (Visayan Suman), Mekeni Abe, Nanung buri mo?, Chicken Inasal, Kalinga Blended Mountain Rice are mixture of native dialects are just samples of what one will see written on the banners.

Water products

Variety of fresh fish, prawns and lobster on sale

And the frenchman from La Cuisine

 Now, if you are curious on what does a dulong, pritson, binurong belong, nilupak, sinumani, bagnit, and other native sounding delicacies this might be a good place for you. Taste them all in just a day. If you get fond of them, you can always go back.

originality, etc.

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”  

I got this line from my sister’s email. She quotes it under her signature. I know this is not an original from her and so I had to research to know who exactly blurted those words. The words according to a source were from Walter Bagehot.  

Tsk, tsk, tsk! I know a lot of people say things as if the words originally came from them. I am guilty of that sometimes but if I remember who said a thing, then out of respect and honor/dishonor to the person I acknowledge him/her. 

Anyway, for so many reasons, I like Benjamin Franklin especially when he said: “Originality is the art of concealing your sources”. hmmm… I wonder how many percent of bloggers really write their stuff. No CTRL-Cs and No CTRL-Vs but a lot of CTRL-Zs and backspaces just to get the right words when they are not in their writing elements like myself this moment.

hmmm… its Friday today and I am not going home to the province. Tomorrow, I will go to Mall of Asia and heed the advice of my officemate. She said there are a lot of beautiful and durable kites for sale out there. Mind you, the sellers she said are not inside the mall but they are near the bay where the winds are strong and ideal for kiting. I am not going kiting there of course. I am going to buy several and then bring them home to the province when I go home next week. It is summer time and the kids are out of school. Yahoo!

’til next time…